


Raise Me Up

by Corvus_Aconitum



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Alpha/Omega, Caring, Dom/sub, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, M/M, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23880652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvus_Aconitum/pseuds/Corvus_Aconitum
Summary: When Nick overhears a conversation between two fellow cops in the station, insecurities are unearthed that he thought to have left behind.Now it's up to Sean Renard to help his bonded mate get over his misgivings.
Relationships: Nick Burkhardt/Sean Renard
Comments: 37
Kudos: 203





	Raise Me Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amaryllis (Lilly0)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly0/gifts).



> Puuh, took me a long time to stoke up inspiration but finally it hit and landed. ;)  
> This is for the awesome amaryllis (Lilly0)....  
> \^. ^/  
> It's not 'Best Behavior' yet but it's a little something in the same vein. 
> 
> Also this is loosely inspired by the song 'You raise me up' by Josh Groban but not a song fic at all. :)  
> Enjoy!

Raise Me Up: 

"You've got to be kidding me, he cannot be a sub."

"I'm tellin' you, it's true."

"Come on, he's positively kick-ass. I would have noticed, if he was a sub."

"Hey, hey, tamp down the prejudices, will ya?"

"Okay, okay, don't bite my head off. You're right. I _do_ know a few subs that can land a decent punch…. But still…."

Nick has been about to enter the break room in search of donuts for Hank and him when he has heard two people inside talking. Opting to hear where this is going, he remains unseen behind the closed door. A quiet smile is playing around his lips as he listens in. 

Subs are often underestimated, especially when they're working on the Force; he himself has experienced it more than once. Maybe he should feel insulted by those prejudices against his dynamic, but with these two - whoever they are - he takes up no true malice, more like astonishment. He wonders who they are talking about?

"Even if you're right and from what I've seen he really _can_ scare the shit out of a perp once he's got going, there are a few things that just don't fit the picture."

"Shoot, I'm curious." That sounds equal parts challenging and like a man sure that he's already won the bet. 

"He's mouthing off to all the Doms for one. Like… all the time. A true sub wouldn't do that, would he?" 

"You don't know many a sub, do you, son? 'part from that he's friends with half of 'em, anyway."

"You sure? I mean, Burkhardt's a pretty decent fighter, check. And it's downright scary seeing him empty a clip right into the heart of one of those target practice paper fellows. I mean, woah, it's no wonder he's won marksmanship contests like… three years in a row…. Also check. A sub can do any of those things… but the rest? No way. He's way too sassy for a sub. You've got to try harder, mate. I'm younger than you but I'm not a total rookie."

On the other side of the door the older of the two is chuckling. Definitely a man about to deliver the final blow. Or is that final proof? Up until now all of this has been pretty amusing for Nick. Surprising to hear they are talking about him, that's for sure, but interesting nonetheless. And it's certainly good to know that people at Precinct think him capable and, frankly, _this_ kind of scary is much more to the Grimm's liking than the wesen panicky kind. 

He throws a look over his shoulder to check that nobody else is on their way to break room, then he concentrates back on the voices behind the door. He swings somewhere between intrigued and wary, not sure if he likes being discussed in this vein. 

"Well, I know for sure 'cos he's bonded to a Dom. And not to any Dom either. He's the Captain's life mate. If that's not gonna persuade you, son, nothin' will."

"What?... Okay, I guess that changes things."

A pause. Nick is just about to make his presence known - thinking that this has gone on long enough and that he ought to let a few choice words drop - when the younger man starts speaking again:

"Huh, funny. I wouldn't have thought…."

"Wouldn' 'ave thought what? Still not believing me?" 

"Oh, I do. Just didn't think…. Well, Captain Renard is so _alpha_ …. Wouldn't have thought he would want such a sassy sub as bond mate is all. Seems more like the strict obedience kind of guy. Don't get me wrong, Burkhardt is a decent guy and all, but fulfilling the expectations of a Dom like our Captain…?"

Nick doesn't wait to hear what the other one replies. His mouth has turned dry as dust and his stomach plummeted in the worst way. 

You see, Nick isn't your usual sub; also he's emotionally stable and well settled in his dynamic. Despite that there are some things, some niggling insecurities that throw even his sub instincts into upheaval. And not being able to make Sean happy - his beloved bonded Dom and one of the few people that he will truly submit to - is certainly one of them. 

Donuts or entering break room is forgotten as Nick turns on his heel and rushes back to the bullpen. Even though he tries his best to push the whole conversation from his mind, in the end it isn't enough when every one of his Omega instincts is screaming at him that he's done wrong. That they are right. 

_That's what you get for eavesdropping._

Hell, even his inner voice sounds so much like Sean's dry, faintly amused drawl that he finds himself growing hot and cold. 

_It doesn't matter what others think. It's only important what Sean thinks._

To tell himself these things is all good and well but the underlying feeling of failure remains. 

When Hank asks him about the lack of donuts, he can only mumble a quiet apology and duck his head. He hates being this weak, this insecure. There's no escaping it, however. 

>>>

Sean muses, with the ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, that his dear bond mate is not your usual sub at all. 

Make no mistake, Nick is kind and gentle. He's open and inspires trust like no one else he knows. He's so beautiful, so dedicated when going down for his Dom. Still, he isn't your usual suspect. He isn't meek or deferential when facing some random Alpha. It is - in Sean's book, anyway - his Grimm's inner strength. Nick is loyal to the bone, protective and downright fussy when Sean or one of his friends are feeling down or, worse, is injured or ill. 

He will submit with all his dedication but only to those he deems worthy and despite the zauberbiest's self-confidence, he still feels humbled on occasion to be found worthy and being trusted on this level by his mate. 

Sure, Nick is also stubborn, generally quite sassy and sometimes he's driving even the unflappable Prince up the walls. In short, he's perfect just the way he is, imperfections and all. 

And if that doesn't make sense to someone else, well, then they don't know Nick Burkhardt the way he does. 

For a moment the Captain of South Precinct - alpha Dom and powerful half-zauberbiest - gives in to his primal side, reveling in the heady thrill of having such a strong and beautiful creature like his Grimm go down for him. Absolute trust. Submission. Taking care…. Yes, as unbelievable as it sounds considering Sean's usual personality, taking care of Nick is something he enjoys. Occasionally gets off on even. 

A quiet smile, languid and full this time. Paling into his preferred mask of neutral indifference. 

Worry gnawing at the back of his mind - firing up all of his protective instincts - because of what he has witnessed today:

It is as he's said, Nick isn't your usual sub. So when he's all 'Yes, Sir.' and 'No, Sir.', all meek and… for lack of a better word… submissive, that's cause for concern in Renard's estimation. 

>>>

Nick tries leaving his stupid doubts behind. 

_Really, it's nothing._ He tells himself. 

Hell, Monroe teases him all the time with being the sassiest sub in existence but there's never any true reproach. On the contrary. When Monroe does it, there's this soft look around his eyes that he denies fiercely upon being called out on it. He shouldn't worry, really. After all it's been Monroe himself, Mr. Rules-and-proper-manners-and-all-that-jazz, who has dispelled his worries about entering a relationship with Sean. When the Grimm has asked, if he thought Nick was right for a man like Sean Renard, the blutbad has snorted and said:

"Hell, yes, dude! Don't you know that it totally caters to the Captain’s ego to have someone as strong as yourself be willing to enter this bond with him?" 

Nick has frowned then, not sure he likes what he's hearing. 

"I'm not a trophy, you know? Neither for Sean nor anyone else."

Monroe has looked at him then, fond and kind of proud. 

"Nick, dude, you're not a trophy for him, you are the reason he's alive and sane. He doesn't need a meek sub, he needs someone able to keep pace with his presence and power and not afraid to tell him, if he's being a prick."

Nick heaves a sigh. Given all that - given Sean's own numerous assurances on the matter - he really ought to believe that all is well but still there's this bunch of doubts itching him. It's the one insecurity he has never managed to get entirely rid of.

So for all his mental prep talk, when in the presence of Doms, Nick remains quiet and subdued today and neither Hank's concerned glances nor Sean's inquisitive looks can pull him out of this mindset. 

>>>

Sean half expects things to go back to normal once they are home. Just the two of them. They don't and he decides to ask about it. His Grimm isn't stand-offish or angry but something's off all the same. Gone are smart-ass remarks, the teasing gleam and quirk of a grin. Gone is the spark of fire in stormy gray eyes, the eye contact even. 

"Nick, once you're finished mulling over whatever's occupying your mind, will you come over to me?" His tone is light, a genuine question, not an order. He gets a rueful smile in return and a mumbled: "If we were to wait for that, we would be here all night."

Sean would have been less concerned, if Nick would look at him even once or if he wouldn't have bitten his lip as soon as the words have left his mouth. 

"Come on, mon gamin", Sean prompts once more, beckoning not with his hands but with his tone alone. This time his Grimm complies. He steps up to his Dom, waiting at a foot of distance. As if asking for permission…. Sean is careful to keep up a neutral facade. Going by how Nick is acting, it wouldn't do to see him frown. He would surely take it the wrong way. 

The zauberbiest doesn't know what is bothering his sub but if he's willing - or feeling forced - to go back to old-fashioned Dom-sub behavioral patterns, it must be getting to him on a deep level. 

"That's my boy", he murmurs gently and pulls Nick right in, kissing his temple and slipping a hand to the nape of his neck. His other hand slides over strong back muscles and a fit body to sling around and keep him close. It is a true relief when Nick melts into his embrace after only a moment's hesitation and he rewards him by stroking over the back of his head, burying fingers into tousled hair and rubbing. 

"Hm, that's it. Did I tell you that I like having you close? You are perfect pressed against me like that."

He keeps up a low stream of praise, feeling Nick further relax and finally press his cheek to Sean's broad shoulder with a weary sigh. 

"Okay. Now what is the matter, love? What's bothering you? I know something is up. I want to help you. Make you feel good. Because that satisfies me greatly. No need for deference or stiff manners, mon gamin. You can be who you are with me and you get all that just because I love you."

Nick swallows audibly. Sean is sure that his Grimm is well aware that he's on to what is unsettling him. Nick knows it and if Sean reads him right, then he's just about ready to talk about it. Strong arms sneak around the zauberbiest's middle this time and return his tight hug. 

"It's nothing. Well, not nothing. Just something I shouldn't worry about…. Stupid…."

"Hmm. I cannot imagine it's nothing, if it has you upset like this."

He curls a finger under Nick's chin and gently lifts his head. He looks deep into those soulful gray eyes. His sub holds his gaze but it is a struggle obviously. 

"Talk to me, Nick. I promise I won't think it stupid."

"You will, once you've heard it but here we go."

This spark of his normal self heartens Sean as much as the content of his words worries him. 

"It's stupid, really…."

"Nicholas." A first hint of authority. Of brooking no bullshit, especially when it comes in the form of self-recrimination. 

The Grimm's pupils are blown wide for an instant. An innate reaction to his Dom asserting control. He needs this, craves submitting in the sure knowledge that Sean will have him no matter what. Only Sean. The only one who has earned Nick's trust to such a degree. 

The half-zauberbiest smiles in return. Appreciative and approving at once. 

The pad of his thumb brushes over Nick's cheek, tracing the cheekbone before moving down to his jawline again and the formidable Grimm relaxes by another fraction while leaning into the touch just enough to be felt. He takes a last deep breath and finally spills the beans:

"Am I…? Sean, am I a good sub…? I know it's kind of out of the blue…. You see, I overheard a conversation between two guys at Precinct today, one not buying the fact that I'm a sub and the other reasoning that I am. That's not what got me thinking…. It was…. Once the first guy has been persuaded that I am, indeed a sub, he said…."

A fortifying breath that together with the deep anguish in his beloved's gaze require all of Sean's self-control not to simply try and kiss away all of his worries. Because seeing this, all he wants to do is gathering Nick even closer and rip off the head of whoever has been part of that conversation. 

"Knowing that I'm a sub, he wondered what a Dom like you would want with me."

It takes a moment to sink in. Maybe it is Nick averting his gaze as if afraid to find his fears confirmed. 

When implications of that sentence register, white hot anger rushes through his veins! 

_Who dares to hurt my mate like that?! To insinuate even for one moment that I would find Nick less than pleasing! That he isn't good enough for me!_

Sean struggles for control, his heart breaking at Nick's tone, if nothing else. It isn't a whine or an angry hiss. _Something_ suggesting that he's feeling insulted or even bemused. It is neutrality piercing the Dom's heart like a spear. Acceptance of failure. 

"He did _what_?!" 

Although it is a rhetorical question obviously, at least it gets his sub to look back up. Locking eyes with Nick before he can think to avert his own again, he makes sure to have his gaze for once show all that he is feeling. 

His Grimm reacts instantly. Sadly it is to justify that cruel insinuation instead of expressing disbelief or anger over it:

"It's not even that far-fetched, you know? I'm always talking back, often questioning your orders instead of just following them. I'm sorry, I just cannot help sometimes. And I'm not acting… not acting like a _normal_ sub would. Like you… like you deserve. I love you, Sean. Damn, I have a fine way of showing it."

Nick’s eyes are swimming with tears of frustration. He would have turned away but seeing that Sean is still having a hand on his jaw, that is no option. He closes his eyes instead, swallowing thickly and cleanly breaking Sean's heart. Cupping both of his beloved's cheeks, he presses a chaste kiss against his forehead. 

"Look at me, my boy." His lips are ghosting over the warm skin of his sub's brow as he speaks, keeping close as if it would give his next words more weight. Sean hopes to God that it does. 

"Nick, you are right. You are not a normal sub. You are _special_ . You are _my_ sub, my bonded mate and I wouldn't want to have you any other way! Don't you know that your sass and your challenge make your submission so much sweeter, so much more worthwhile? If I find out who has uttered those unthinking words, I will castrate them! Or better yet cut off their traitorous tongue. _Nobody_ has the right to take my sub down! To take _you_ down. You are the only one worthy of being my bond mate just like I am the one you choose to be trusted with taking care of you. Do you understand?"

It is clear that Nick has difficulties forming words, jaw muscles working and eyes alight with pent up emotions. Sean persists despite all that. This is too important. It is what Nick needs even if it's a difficult. 

"Nicholas, I expect a verbal answer."

He doesn't let him off the hook, hurting and watching him struggle. And at last… seeing him understand. 

"Yes. Yes, Sir, I… I understand." His voice is wet with emotion yet one thing is clear: He _has_ understood Sean's message. All tension melts out of them both as he pulls his mate close. 

"That's my boy."

A kiss to the sweet spot behind Nick’s ear. Fingers carding through dark locks as he strokes and reassures. 

"That's my good boy. Let no one presume what I expect. That is between you and me and there is nobody who I would rather have as a mate. No one would be like you. You are my strong, kind and honest Grimm. You may give me gray hairs and rile my 'biest up more often than not but that is part of the package that I love. Never forget that. I love you, mon gamin."

This has been the last hurdle, the last doubt dispelled. Nick hugs his Dom fiercely, kisses him with heat and love. Murmuring endearments of his own and a fair bit of apologies, too. 

"Shh. You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all. I'm so proud of you for telling me what's been bothering you."

Sean thinks as he kisses and caresses his Grimm, that anyone thinking that Sean Renard would not want a sub as strong and independent as Nick, might be in for a surprise seeing that the proud Royal _lives_ for making his beloved feel cherished and loved. 

>>>

After being weighed down by his insecurities all day, this feels like floating. Sean's love, his acceptance and that fiery anger on his behalf…. It all makes Nick go fuzzy - almost dizzy - and relaxed to his very bones. It's pure comfort just like the continuous stream of loving touches. 

And when his 'biest - in that smooth and steady velvet drawl - asks him, if he wants to go down for him now, he releases a breath he hasn't even known he's been holding and his knees buckle without a single further prompt. Sean is there to catch him. Guides him down to his knees, to lean his cheek against his thigh and cards long finger through his hair. Nick has slipped into a floaty subspace state even before he has fully realized he's kneeling. With Sean it's so damn easy. There is a feeling of all encompassing safety. Of trust and acceptance. This is right. This is….

_Oh God, Sean._ Never _stop what you are doing with your hands right now!_

… The last clearly defined thought for a long time. The rest is feeling safe and loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Uuuh, I wrote this largely in one go and I was a little sleep deprived but I hope you've enjoyed it anyway and that it has taken your mind off things especially in times like these.  
> Stay hale and healthy, all of you.


End file.
